As many of you know, my mother-in-law passed away last Friday. She committed suicide after suffering severe, debilitating depression for many years, especially after my father-in-law Sneed died. I know some people brush over the word “suicide,” call it something else, or simply don’t discuss it at all because of the shame associated with it. But I was happy to see it addressed at her funeral. My brother-in-law so eloquently told the congregation that it’s okay to be angry but we should all learn to forgive her.
If anything good at all can come from this devastating situation, I hope it’s a better understanding of mental illness and depression. Please don’t be afraid to discuss it. If you or someone you know is suffering, please seek help. I’ll include a few links at the bottom with more information.
But back to Carol. They said at the service to not let this final act define her life. So let’s remember the old Carol – the one who smiled easily, laughed contagiously and whose love for others knew no bounds.
Before this sickness took over, Carol chose to live life and she lived it to the fullest. She traveled around the world (Ireland, China, Alaska), gave her two boys an amazing childhood, was so loving to friends and neighbors, and spoiled her two grandsons (my boys) like every grandparent should. Carol loved her family…her brothers, cousins, and their families. And she was so considerate of others. I remember a few years ago when she invited a woman – who she knew would spend the holidays alone – to our Christmas Eve family supper. It was the little acts of kindness like this that defined who she was as a person.
She and Sneed had an amazing group of friends. I loved attending their sing-a-longs to eat fried catfish and watch Sneed join in on microphone with a “colorful” rendition of whatever song Reginald Lee was playing. Sneed had zero rhythm (I mean absolutely no rhythm whatsoever) but that didn’t stop him from trying to clap along in an off-beat manner and sing his heart out. It left us all, Carol included, smiling, laughing and cheering him on. Those two were beautiful together.
So here are some photos taken at the beach six years ago, the summer before Sneed died. They loved my two boys and it’s obvious by the huge smiles on their faces. While we’ll never fully understand the darkness that finally took Carol’s life, we can find some comfort in the idea that she’s no longer in pain and finally at peace.
Thank you for loving us, Carol/Mimi. We love you, too.
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I can only imagine the wisdom Sneed is sharing in this photo…”Now when you batter the catfish, you have to…”
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Commentary written by someone experiencing similar depression
Depression and suicide prevention
http://www.webmd.com/depression/default.htm
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide
