“It takes time to fully absorb the impact of a major loss. You never stop missing your loved one, but the pain eases after time and allows you to go on with your life.”
My mom and dad, with me
Image Details
- Box on the table – My mom’s cremated remains. Both of my parents donated their bodies to science.
- Painting of birds – Painted by my mother probably in the 1970s.
- Book on the table – “Bridges of Madison County” was given to me when I was in high school by my father and included a note encouraging me to follow my dreams as an artist.
- St Louis Cardinals jersey – Both parents were huge fans.
- Scooter and hiking boots – It’s how I deal with anxiety. Hiking, going for a ride…
- Email about my mother’s prognosis – The doctor sent this email to his nurse who passed it along to me. It was probably not supposed to go directly to me verbatim.
Living With Grief
Coping with death is vital to your mental health. It is only natural to experience grief when a loved one dies. The best thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve. There are many ways to cope effectively with your pain.
Seek out caring people. Find relatives and friends who can understand your feelings of loss. Join support groups with others who are experiencing similar losses.
Express your feelings. Tell others how you are feeling; it will help you to work through the grieving process.
Take care of your health. Maintain regular contact with your family physician and be sure to eat well and get plenty of rest. Be aware of the danger of developing a dependence on medication or alcohol to deal with your grief.
Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.
Postpone major life changes. Try to hold off on making any major changes, such as moving, remarrying, changing jobs or having another child. You should give yourself time to adjust to your loss.
Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.
Seek outside help when necessary. If your grief seems like it is too much to bear, seek professional assistance to help work through your grief. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help.
“Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. When we lose a spouse, sibling or parent our grief can be particularly intense. Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome these feelings and continue to embrace the time you had with your loved one.”
Katie Linsky Shaw, Photographer, Photojournalist
Youth Mental Health Crisis – An ongoing photography and story-telling project