Gender Identity

“All of us are put in boxes by our family, by our religion, by our society, our moment in history, even our own bodies. Some people have the courage to break free.”
— Geena Rocero

Supporting Gender Identity: A Beginner’s Guide

By Amber Hager, M.A., 2014

To read the article in its entirety, originally written for a college campus, please click here.

Gender What?

Gender identity: the internal sense that you have of your own gender, which is not as simple as it may seem to some. Perhaps you know someone who is transgender, gender-nonconforming, gender nonbinary, or gender fluid, or maybe you have read about or seen someone on TV who identifies this way. However, perhaps you do not know (or don’t think you know) anyone personally who identifies as anything but cisgender (when one’s gender identity and gender assigned at birth are congruent). You may be confused by all the different terms listed here or others you’ve seen. That is okay, because this is exactly what this article addresses—so read on!

Gender identity is not as simple as a doctor labeling someone a girl or a boy at birth. We know this because not everyone who is assigned boy or girl at birth grows up to identify as male or female, respectively. Although we may intellectually understand this, we may still face challenges, judgments, or biases in understanding and celebrating gender fluidity in our friends, family, students, and colleagues.

One thing that is important to understand is that transgender people face considerable discrimination, risk of poverty, risk of suicide and suicide attempts, and employment discrimination, and these risks are increased for transgender people of color.¹ Because of these risks and because more transgender and gender nonconforming students are visible on college campuses, it is vital to provide support and campus resources for these students.²

Where to Begin?

A complete explanation of terms and list of recommendations is not possible in a short article, but the following is a good starting point, with a list of suggestions and resources.

DO YOUR RESEARCH

There is growing recognition that gender is not a simple binary (male and female), but rather a spectrum. Also, gender is different from sex: Gender is the sense of and expression of where one lies on the gender spectrum, whereas sex relates to biological anatomy.

As noted earlier, there are a variety of terms that are associated with gender identity (as well as with sexual orientation, which will is not covered here but is often lumped together with gender identity). Instead of expecting someone to educate you on their identity, try seeking out your own information. There are some websites that can help:

Gender Spectrum: Creates gender-sensitive and -inclusive environments for children and teens through education, resources, and programs; offers a support group in Emeryville monthly
The Gender Unicorn: Helpful graphic showing the spectrum of gender and how it intersects with sex and relationships; provides definitions of a variety of terms
National Center for Transgender Equality: Provides transgender advocacy in Washington, D.C.; website provides education and advocacy around a variety of topics
Transgender Law Center: The largest national trans-led organization advocating for a world in which all people are free to define themselves and their futures through strategic litigation, policy advocacy, educational efforts, movement building, and programs
TransPulse: Provides a database of trans-friendly medical and mental health clinicians; forums for transgender folks, their families, their friends, and their allies; and a suicide crisis chat line

SHOW RESPECT

Be respectful of an individual’s affirmed gender identity, name, and pronouns. You may be afraid of making a mistake or offending someone when you don’t know what name or pronouns to use. When in doubt, ask! Continuously misgendering someone (using the wrong gender pronouns or name) can be upsetting and is not supportive. It is as simple as asking, “What gender pronouns do you use?” “What name should I use?”

A term to avoid is preference, which is sometimes used to describe labels for sexual orientation and gender identity that differ from the majority identities of heterosexual and cisgender. Preference implies choice rather than inherent identity and applies to things like music, food, and TV shows; it’s not an appropriate way to describe someone’s identity.

BE AN ALLY AND ADVOCATE

Be open about your support of gender identity diversity and make yourself aware of the issues and services that serve the transgender community. Speak up when you hear someone saying something offensive, advocate for policies that improve the life of gender non-conforming individuals.

GET SUPPORT IF NEEDED

Learning about gender identity diversity may be new to you, and it may take time to incorporate new information into your way of understanding the world. To build your knowledge and awareness to best support a loved one who is transgender or gender nonconforming, seek out assistance by talking to a counselor or religious leader who is affirming of and has knowledge about gender identity diversity, finding a support group for those with a transgender loved one, or finding an online community for support.

What’s gender identity?

Gender identity describes the inner experience of your own gender — whether you feel like a man, woman, genderqueer, agender, nonbinary, or another identity.

Remember: There’s no right or wrong way to look like a woman, man, or nonbinary person.

What does transgender mean?

Transgender means your gender identity is different from the gender that the doctor gave you when you were born, based on the way your body looked. That label is called “sex assigned at birth” — usually “male” or “female.”

Transgender people use different terms to describe themselves. Always use the language and labels that a person uses for themselves.

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